Front page	From the Event Guide archive! This article refers to an event which took place on, or until, 19 September 2006 Film Reviews CRANK Starring Jason Statham, Amy Smart and Dwight Yoakim. Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. Remember that old TV series of Batman? Of course you do. And you likely remember the most enduring staple of the notoriously campy show- the elaborate execution. You know the drill; the Joker would tie up The Dark Knight and Boy Wonder and something (perhaps an eclipse) would ignite a candle, which would burn a rope for an anvil (with an incriminating Joker logo) to eventually land on the dynamic duo. Unless of course, Batman could wiggle his way out at the last moment and deliver some rough justice to the Joker’s henchmen. ‘Crank’, Jason Statham’s latest vehicle, takes its initial cue from the zany assassination attempts of Batman’s nemeses; hitman Chev Chelios (Statham) wakes one morning feeling groggy. He finds a DVD with “fuck you” scrawled on it. The DVD is of him getting injected in his sleep with some obscure Chinese drug. Chev has a very limited time to catch his killer and find a cure for the poison coursing through his veins. (“I’ll catch him if it’s the last thing I do! Actually, it probably will be the last thing I do…”) Here’s the kicker; if his heart rate slows down…he dies! Yes, ‘Crank’ is essentially ‘Speed’ with a person instead of a bus. Or maybe it’s a drugged-up ‘DOA’, or maybe we should call it ‘Run Transporter, Run’. Anyway, Statham, who is a lot of fun, finds increasingly inventive ways to keep his adrenaline up - guzzling power drinks, driving through a busy shopping mall, causing a fight in a hip-hop club (“Who wants some white meat!”) and, in the film’s nadir/climax he copulates with his girlfriend in a crowded street. ‘Crank’ is very, very silly. It’s also ultra-stylish and inventive, borrowing heavily from the ‘Grand Theft Auto’ video game series; the zooming in of a map, the strange music choices (from generic hard-rock to Nilson’s ‘Everybody’s Talkin’’) and the jet-black humour are all GTA staples. ‘Crank’ also shares GTA’s audacious immorality; it’s violent, misogynist and homophobic. Statham is fast-rising the ranks of the action movie set, and he looks set to fill the void still left empty since Sly and Arnold stopped churning them out. The cheeky cockney is confident and hugely athletic with a sly wit. Only a handful of actors can look convincing driving a car at high speed, while firing a gun and receiving fellatio simultaneously and Statham is one of them. He’s supported well by an adorable Amy Smart (reminiscent of a pre-annoying Meg Ryan) as his girlfriend and sweaty Dwight Yoakim, clearly relishing his role as a sleazy doctor. If you have problems with screen violence, plot-holes and a dizzying pace go see something else instead. But if, for example, you know the difference between an AK47 and an M16, you should greatly enjoy this, frankly, mental action movie, with an ending as audacious as its wild premise. – Joe Griffin   ‘Crank’ is now on general release, certified 18. www.crankfilm.com   AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH Starring Al Gore. Directed by Davis Guggenheim. F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote that there are no second acts in American lives. That certainly doesn’t seem to be the case with Al Gore, the former US Vice President who came within a hairs breath of the Presidency in the notorious 2000 election against George Dubious Bush. It was a disastrous campaign for a stiff, undemonstrative, Clinton-stained (ahem) Gore, where he came across to the electorate like the Tin Man to Bush’s Scarecrow: one was missing a heart; the other, a brain. The last six years have been humbling for Gore but this brilliantly engaging, fascinating documentary might well be the first major step in one of the most remarkable political comebacks in American history. ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ is simply a recording of a multi-media power-point presentation on global warming that Gore has been delivering around the world since the Florida 2000 debacle. Gone is the stuffy nerd of yore. The new Al is funny, relaxed and charming. He is, as the film explains, neither dilettante, nor a cynical carpetbagger on a topical political issue. He has been studying his subject since university and campaigned on the issue as a Senator and as Veep (although he does gloss over the environmental weaknesses of his time in the White House). Gore makes his case eloquently and simply, using graphs, pictures and even cartoons to show audiences how environmental mismanagement and incompetence has wreaked havoc on the modern world. Most terrifying are his projections for as little as ten years in the future: namely ecological devastation and rising sea levels that will result in “a 9/11 over and over again” unless something is done. His message is clear: this is a time bomb that can be averted but it needs the dramatic will to do so. But it’s not all doom and gloom. Unlike many opposition politicians (are you listening Enda and Pat?), Gore is optimistic and offers solutions, not just criticism. He refutes the Right’s propaganda that global warming is all an exaggeration or that there isn’t scientific consensus on the matter. His evidence is incontrovertible. Gore is concerned, but also projects confidence, authority and hope, leadership skills that the US sorely needs. And that’s the underlying truth of this documentary. There can be no doubt that Gore has his eyes on the Democratic nomination for 2008. He pointedly ties in his environmental thesis with Hurricane Katrina, the rock on which Bush should have - and still might – perish. The film is intercut with biographical pieces on Gore, accentuating his Southern roots (going as far as pronouncing ‘tobacco’ as ‘tobacca’) so as to appeal to the red states. More than anything, Gore, in the words of Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel, can be the Joe DiMaggio that America can turn its lonely eyes to in these dark, dark times. Meanwhile, what we all have to do, as the Melissa Etheridge power anthem tells us, is wake up. Declan Cashin   ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ is released at selected cinemas on Friday 15th September, certified G. www.aninconvenienttruthireland.com   LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE Starring Greg Kinnear, Steve Carell, Toni Colette, Paul Dano, Alan Arkin, Abigail Breslin. Directed by Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris. ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ arrives amidst the sort of glowing American accolades that threaten to overwhelm the cute yellow poster with the “Everyone Pretend To Be Normal” tagline. Standing ovations at Sundance and Audience Awards at the Sydney Film Festival aside, ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ audibly creaks under the weight of its self-styled quirkiness. Now, some of the best American independent movies of the last few years have all featured that meatiest of subject matter: a good old dysfunctional family trying to live with each other (‘The Royal Tenenbaums’, ‘The Squid & The Whale’), and certainly, ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ seems to hit all the dysfunctional buttons with an almost clinical efficiency. The Hoovers consist of put-upon wife and mother Sheryl (Toni Colette), her suicidal gay brother Frank (Steve Carell) and a self-deluding motivational speaker husband Richard (Greg Kinnear). Throw in a Nietzsche-obsessed son (Paul Dano) who’s taken a vow of silence and a heroin smoking, sex-obsessed grandfather (Alan Arkin), and you’d probably have the last bunch of people you’d expect to travel from New Mexico to California in a clapped-out Volkswagen van, wouldn’t you? What’s that? The youngest Hoover sibling (Abigail Breslin) has won a place in the Little Miss Sunshine contest in Redondo Beach, California? Well, that settles it - this is Quirksville, USA, and the sight of wildly mismatched individuals undergoing mutual adversity in an effort to bond “as a family” and better understand each other’s foibles is nothing new. And neither, one must duly add, is ‘Little Miss Sunshine’. That said, it is remarkably good fun, aided by uniformly strong performances, particularly from young Breslin and a wonderfully foul-mouthed Alan Arkin (“You want my advice? Fuck a lot of women!”). But let’s face it - dreary self-help programs and pre-pubescent beauty pageants aren’t the most difficult of targets, are they? And while we’re at it, let’s make fun of the low intellect of their president! No-one’s done that before! So crowd-pleasing gags aside, one cannot feel it to be a small shame that Dayton & Faris chose to opt for overly-contrived foibles rather than a more truthful approach to the unrealistic expectations of modern American life. But then, again crowd-pleasing gags do… well, they please the crowds, don’t they? And if that’s all you ask for, then ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ should brighten up your day considerably. - Jamie Hannigan -         ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ is released at selected cinemas on Friday 8th September, certified 15A. www2.foxsearchlight.com/littlemisssunshine/   THE QUEEN Starring Helen Mirren, Michael Sheen, James Cromwell, Sylvia Syms, Helen McCrory, Alex Jennings. Directed by Stephen Frears. Diana, the Princess of Wales always threatened to destabilise and even destroy the British monarchy. This was true in her life but even more so in her death. When she was tragically killed in that car accident in the autumn of 1997, the British public were plunged into an unprecedented outpouring of grief. The new, breath-of fresh-air Prime Minister Tony Blair (here played again by Sheen, who portrayed him in the 2003 TV drama ‘The Deal’) was acutely in tune with the devastated public mood, articulating the nation's sense of loss and encouraging mass mourning. His already ascendant star status rose into the stratosphere. It was an entirely different situation with Diana's in-laws, however. Holed up in the holiday retreat of Balmoral, the royal family remained conspicuously silent and absent from the public gaze. 'The Queen' is an examination of the week between Diana's death and her extraordinary funeral. The focus, as the title makes clear, is on Elizabeth Regina herself (played by an uncanny, if overly-sprightly, Mirren). The Queen, rooted in tradition, deemed it a private matter and chose for the family to stay totally out of view, making no comment on the affair - "since Diana is no longer an HRH". This proved to be profoundly out of step with the prevailing Zeitgeist, provoking a baffled and increasingly furious response from the people and the press. It's up to Blair to diplomatically but firmly explain to the Queen how gravely erroneous - even fatal - her stance on the matter is. 'The Queen' makes for fascinating viewing, if for no other reason than to (fictionally) peep through the curtains at the bizarre royal family. Cromwell makes for a wonderfully boo-hiss Duke of Edinburgh whilst Jenning and Syms are thoroughly believable as Prince Charles and the Queen Mother respectively. But this is Mirren's show. The physical transformation is remarkable and she has the clipped, strangely weary tone of voice mastered to a tee. However, this is no mere impersonation. Mirren makes Elizabeth a complex, textured creation: stoical, intelligent and witty on one hand; cold, indifferent and infuriatingly self regarding on the other. It was a turbulent week for the Queen and Mirren's magnificently expressive portrayal communicates these conflicting emotions and doubts. For me though, 'The Queen' is about Tony Blair, serving as an almost quaint reminder of how exciting and hopeful the future looked under New Labour back in 1997. There's no shortage of irony here, notably the final scene where Her Majesty, reflecting on the crisis-fuelled week gone by, warns Blair that the press and the public will turn on him one day too. 'The Queen' may struggle at times to escape its TV drama origins but this remains a compelling, insightful and moving piece of work. One highly approves. - Declan Cashin   'The Queen' is released in selected cinemas on Friday 15th September, cert TBC. Website not available.   THE NIGHT LISTENER Starring Robin Williams, Toni Collette, Rory Culkin, Joe Morton, Bobby Cannavale, Sandra Oh. Directed by Patrick Stettner. It’s always nice when a movie catches you by surprise and this cracking little psychological drama is a welcome relief from the inane popcorn blockbusters of the season. Based on a roman a clef from writer Armistead Maupin (‘Tales of the City’), ‘The Night Listener’ opens with an image from a kaleidoscope, an apt metaphor for this unreliably narrated tale where things can be manipulated to look entirely different from what you first thought. Robin Williams stars…no wait, come back! It’s Williams playing serious, so there’s no misty-eyed, ‘Patch Adams’-esque mugging at the screen (shudder). Williams plays writer Gabriel Noone, a late night DJ who broadcasts his stories on a popular radio show. Noone, we find out, is constantly mining his own life for material, so much so that the line between fiction and reality has become increasingly blurred for him. On top of this, Noone is going through a break-up with his long-term lover (Cannavale). Into this troubled emotional fray arrives a manuscript from Pete Logand (Culkin), a fan of Noone who suffered horrendous sexual abuse as a child and transmuted the experience into a novel. Noone soon reluctantly accepts that all is not what it seems, suspicions that are compounded by meeting Pete’s blind care-giver Donna (Collette). Does Pete even exist? Are the novel and the tale behind it real? Is what Noone is telling us even real? These are the questions that propel the action of ‘The Night Listener’. It’s a suspenseful tale to begin with, but the element of mystery is not maintained all the way through its short running time, which leaves some scenes feeling a bit flat. It is still an unsettling experience, however, aided in no small measure by a truly creepy turn from the peerless Collette, who owns this entire film. Williams underplays, as is his wont in straight parts, and there’s good support from the most talented Culkin, Rory, as well as from Cannavale and ‘Sideways’ actress Oh. It’s a relevant tale in many ways, and one that might be a bit too painful for Oprah and her duped Book Club to stomach. - Declan Cashin   ‘The Night Listener’ opens nationwide on Friday 15th September, certified 16. www.thenightlistener.co.uk   SNOWCAKE Starring Alan Rickman, Sigourney Weaver, Carrie-Anne Moss. Directed by Marc Evans. As we all know, the portrayal of mental and physical disabilities has provided actors with rich award and acclaim fodder down the years, and ever since Dustin Hoffman quirked his way to Oscar glory for Rain Man, autism has seen its fair few saccharine treatments. Sigourney Weaver is the latest to allow her talent tiptoe through this performing minefield in Mark Evans’ ‘Snowflake’. Ageing English ex-con Alex (Alan Rickman) is touring the lakes of Northern Ontario when he meets and offers a lift to charmingly unique teenage hitchhiker Vivienne (Emily Hampshire). When a truck flattens his rental car, and Vivienne along with it, a remorse-filled Alex travels to the nearby town of Wawa to pay his respects to her mother Linda (Weaver). Her response is one of blank acceptance and Alex soon realises that this is down to the fact that Linda is a high-functioning autistic who refuses to let him leave at least until garbage day. Psychologically, Linda is an eight-year-old girl with a short temper, a dislike of others and an alarming number of obsessive-compulsive tics. She is enchanted by the poetic vagaries of snow and the therapeutic benefits of trampolining and is treated with a nosy condescension by the locals in her atypically small-minded town. Through his own guilt, increasing fondness for Linda and a swiftly realised attraction for neighbour Maggie (Carrie Ann Moss), Alex decides to arrange and stay until the funeral. Weaver tackles the portrayal of Linda with mixed results. She is helped by the fact that Linda’s type of autism allows for florid verbal expression and she mostly gets the balance right between poignant innocence and infuriating intransigence. That said, Weavers approach to the role is often more method than acting and she has the tendency to err on the side of forced mawkishness (Jodie Foster’s chilling turn as ‘Nell’ came to mind once or twice). Rickman does his taciturn yet endearing thing to perfection and despite the film’s tragic grounding, one of its strengths is, in fact, its genuine humour. First time writer Angela Pell subtly subverts the clichés, opting for a dry rather than dark humour in what could easily have been an overly sentimental concoction. Alex and Linda’s odd couple antics are beset by mutual irritation but also bring great comfort and, in Alex’s case, a release from the crippling guilt about his past. The forceful reality is unfortunately undermined by some convenient coincidences, and Alex’s instant love affair with the underwritten and sparsely realised Maggie leaves an unsatisfied taste. The music by the excellent Broken Social Scene adds little but the inclusion of a Super Furry Animals track allows for forgiveness. The bleachy cinematography handsomely captures the sparseness of both the Ontario landscape and the characters lives. Overall this is a slight yet emotionally intelligent film, with all the right indie credentials, including leaving you with a welcome and life affirming glow as we head toward our own winter. – Ed Smith   ‘Snowcake’ is released nationwide on Friday 8th September, certified 15A. Website not available.   TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE LEGEND OF RICKY BOBBY Starring Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen and Gary Cole. Directed by Adam McKay. Will Ferrell, what to make of him? Already his shtick is getting tired. And what is his shtick? He seems to be willing to do anything to get a laugh; run around in his tighty whiteys (twice!), ramble inane improv and French kiss a man. He does all of these things and more in ‘Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby’, or ‘TN:TLOBR’ for short. And continuing with succinct descriptions, Ferrell’s trademark, in short, seems to be…dare I day it…desperation. The formula for failed Ferrell filmic forays seems to be of the fenced-in, er, fariety. ‘Bewitched’ and ‘Kicking and Screaming’ show that trying to reign in Will Ferrell’s frantic act doesn’t work on any level. On the other hand, many (including me) warm to him in supporting roles such as ‘Starsky and Hutch’, in which he was very funny, and ‘Wedding Crashers’, in which he seemed to have wandered on from the set of another film. He works best when his stratospherically OTT performance appears as a brief whirlwind of energy that doesn’t overstay its welcome or sway the film beyond coherence. The hugely popular, if inconsistent, ‘Anchorman’ showed that his persona as American, loveable dumbbell could inspire audience love and box-office gold. I’d say ‘Anchorman’ is about 2/3 funny, which is a perfectly acceptable ratio. ‘TN:TLOBR’ should have worked just as well. The story of an arrogant, dumb, all-American NASCAR driver who learns humility is remarkably similar to ‘Anchorman’, and it reunites many of the creative people from Ferrell’s greatest success and adds Sacha Baron Cohen to the mix (more on him later). But this time, the funny/not funny ratio is about 1/3. What happened? The trouble with fearless, everything-but-the-kitchen sink comedy is that when it falls, it falls hard. And when Ferrell rambles and screams, a child swears, or an old lady is shocked what can the filmmakers expect but indifference? It doesn’t help that NASCAR is about as interesting as watching grass grow/paint dry/Pat Kenny present (take your pick) and it’s a far less amusing world than, say, a 1970’s newsroom. Thank God that Sacha Baron Cohen is on board. Cohen (a.k.a. Ali G and Borat) plays Jean Gerard, a fey, gay, arrogant, French driver and arch-nemesis of Ricky. Cohen’s outrageous Peter-Sellars-meets-Pepe-le-Pieu accent is funny enough, before we see him reading existential literature while crossing the finish line. Angular and effeminate, British comic Cohen has landed in the sandpit of an expensive movie (or ‘moofie’) and effortlessly walks away with the film. He’s welcome to it. The greatest missed opportunity, in a film full of them, was the confrontation of France verses America. Ferrell’s gung-ho clichéd moron could have been much funnier had he more screen time with Cohen’s arrogant French stereotype. Not once do we hear mention of freedom fries, past or present wars, or political differences, and only briefly does American sexual conservatism get, ahem, a dressing down. Though ‘TN:TLOBR’ is a poor film from the biggest comedy star of the US, it’s not a complete write-off; it will likely be remembered as the first film that harnessed Cohen’s considerable talent and energy. America, you ‘ave a new rival, no? – Joe Griffin   ‘Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby’ opens nationwide on Friday 15th September, certified 12A. www.sonypictures.com/movies/talladeganights/   THE SENTINEL Starring Michael Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland, Eva Longoria, Martin Donovan, Ritchie Coster, Kim Basinger, Blair Brown and David Rasche Directed by Clark Johnson. The retiring of one of modern cinema's most enduring and iconic presences was recently announced, and such is the voracious turnover of celebrity 'news' that it sadly barely registered on the poignancy radar. Yes, Michael Douglas has revealed that he is no longer going to allow his naked backside be 'flashed' across the silver screen. Stoic bugle-filled farewells not withstanding, having just seen his latest effort 'The Sentinel', I might recommend that Mr Douglas see to putting the rest of himself out to graze also. Douglas plays Pete Garrison, a veteran Secret Service agent who also happened to take a bullet in the gut the last time an assassination was attempted on the existence of Ronald Reagan. He's devoted to his job and highly respected by his peers for his devotion to duty. Said duty probably doesn't include sleeping with the First Lady (Kim Basinger), which Garrison is also doing, but he obviously believes in fulfilling his 'service' agent remit to the full. Unfortunately for Garrison, someone else is privy to his dalliances, and appears to be using this information to set him up as a patsy for an attempt on the President's life involving an inside man in the Service. After one of his fellow agents is murdered, two other Secret Service personnel are assigned to investigate. Eva Longoria plays Jill Marin, an inexperienced rookie with an impressive résumé who is partnered with her gruff supervisor, David Breckenridge. He is played by Keifer Sutherland, very much playing against recent type by portraying a tightly wound federal agent in a race against time and terror to protect the president's life. To add some soap to the suspense, Breckenridge and Garrison also have a personal history, which increases the tension and casts the former's motives into suspicion when his investigation increasingly points to Garrison as the traitor. Criticising 'The Sentinel' is akin to assassinating freedom lovin' fish in a barrel. So laden and leaden it is with jaw dropping clichés, eye gouging silliness and stomach churning acting that you'll soon be forming your own terrorist plot to eliminate all concerned. Douglas simply can't cut it as a swarthy security maverick. In one scene in which he confronts former best friend Sutherland in a highly 'symbolic' shoot-out, his attempt at fleeing is like watching his father negotiate the 100 metre hurdles. The director's lip curl inducing attempt at some Ridley Scottesque sheen only adds to the debacle. From the atypical 'Enemy Of The State' opening titles, very little about ‘The Sentinel’ makes logical sense. With its plot holes big enough to accommodate Air Force One and its casting choices beyond absurd - specifically the baffling choice of David ‘Sledge Hammer!’ Rasche as the leader of the free world. Longoria brings a nicely filled trouser-suit to the proceedings and Sutherland is... well... Sutherland. Vague, lazy, contrived and insultingly stupid, 'The Sentinel' proves that Michael Douglas' bottom may have got out just in time. – Ed Smith   ‘The Sentinel’ was released nationwide on Friday 1st September, certified 12A. www.sentinelmovie.com     D.O.A – DEAD OR ALIVE Starring Holly Valance. Jaime Prelsey, Devon Aoki and Eric Roberts. Directed by Collin Chou. Best selling joy-pad jouster ‘Dead Or Alive’ gets the Paul WS Anderson treatment in this latest effort to drag saucer-eyed gamers from a small dark, flashy screen lit room into, well, a bigger dark, flashy screen lit room. From the man that turned videogame movies’ fortunes around with the cash crunching (and critic defying) ‘Mortal Kombat’ and ‘Resident Evil’ series, ‘D.O.A: Dead Or Alive’ is squarely aimed at mid-pubescent boys whose penchant is for scantily clad, pneumatic ninja nymphs and jaw twitching acts of silly violence. Princess Kasumi (‘Sin City’’s cutlery queen, Devon Aoki) is ninja royalty to a loyal samurai clan located somewhere in the mistier regions of Japan. Her brother Hayate (Collin Chou) has been missing, presumed dead, since not returning from a top secret, island-based martial arts tournament known as ‘DOA: Dead or Alive’. Kasumi is invited to participate in the next DOA competition and accepts, hoping to find out what happened to her brother. There she meets all American pro-wrestler Tina (Jaime Pressley) and slinky thief and assassin Christie (ex- Ramsey St siren Holly Valance). After initial pouting one-upmanship the three girls soon discover that they all share a rare skin condition that prevents them from wearing clothes as well a curiosity about the true motives of tournament director Dr. Victor Donovan (Eric Roberts). The previous incumbent ‘died’, leaving his noble fight-fleadh and his feisty daughter Helena (Sarah Carter) in the hands of his successor. As DOA slow-mo wire fights its way towards its denouement, Kasumi, Helena, Tina and Christy are forced to fight both against and with each other. Not even a demented Dr Plasticstein could create the impossibly proportioned gals that stalk the pixelated arenas of this game, so director Collin Chou (‘The Transporter’) relies on other tired and tested tricks. With dialogue that contains the following exchange ‘He’s lying!’…’How do you know?’…’Because I think he’s hiding the truth’, it’s left to lingering wonderbra wirework to hold things together. Now, at least with Charlie’s Angels it was done with some semblance of panache and attempted humour but the slow-mo’d leering at bikini’d bottoms, boobs and crotches is simply crude and borders on creepy. Naturally, to fend off any misogynistic mumblings, the majority of the male leads are made up of greedy sleazebags, cartoonish cowards or evil egomaniacs. So similar to a gaming experience is this, that Chou has inter-titles announcing impending fights and their winners. Whilst it’s sadly clear that ‘DOA’ is fumbling to press all the right buttons, I’d like to think that even 13 year old boys will see through this atrocious attempt to get them to press theirs. – Ed Smith   ‘D.O.A – Dead On Arrival’ is released nationwide on Friday 15th September, certified 15A. Website not available.